"If I had the Power to make a Difference."

A journey worth walking, though difficult

2009-04-15T23:37:00.001+08:00

A journey starts only if you walk
A journey continues only with walking

Some walk to continue their journey
Some walk to start a new journey
Some walk not, because of discouragement

Some walk fast and some slow
Some walk happily and some sad
Some walk with others and some do not

My walk is You by my side
Sometimes, I'll be on Your back
Sometimes, I'll be in Your arms

Lord, You know whatever i have gone through since i started walking
Sometimes, I went missing from You but You always come looking for me
Sometimes, I stop walking and You encouraged me
Sometimes, I cried while I walked and You carried me on eagle's wings
Sometimes, I was weary and You carried me in the comfort of Thy bosom

My heart is willing to walk on and on and on
for I know You are there when i need You, be it little, much or most.

Drawing strength from you.

~Footsteps in the Sand~

好久。。。

2008-11-24T15:24:00.002+08:00

我现在刚刚从NP Red Camp 5　回来．．．　那里真的很好玩．

我到了那里，时间过得真快，一转眼，３天就过了。
那些美好的时候永远留在我脑海里。

２００９　年快到了，朋友们都要分开了，我在想现在要见面都难了。明年，我们如果要见面不是跟难吗？

朋友就像云飘来飘去，不知几时才会再见面　＝（

我在这里都不知道还能说什麽了。　这很可能是我最后一次在这个ｂｌｏｇ里了。

再见了！

007... Miracle

2008-11-05T18:37:00.001+08:00

Oh well, been going out for the past few days. Went gyming with Lois and Jaslyn yesterday, well, it was a good session anyway. Haven been working out for a while. Went Plaza Sing later to just shop for prom stuff for them. After, went alone to shop for some gifts. Saw what I wanted anyways. Trained back and play bball with chris, sean and csy. Whole body aching now.

Today, went vivo to catch some movie. Went with Kenji, Lois, Jaslyn and Huiling. Well, it was a fun time after all... Darn, huiling kept disturbing me... along with kenji, wth... tsk tsk, so annoying.

Thats all for now, more to come.. I suppose?

Praying Session on Friday

2008-10-18T22:20:00.002+08:00

It had been a productive week, I am glad I attended the missions trainings organised by Cheryl and Uncle Paul.

Just came to pray for someone.
Abba, I dont know who was sent to attempt irritate or disturb me, I pray for whoever the person that you may break him, mould him and that he may actually get to know you personally. Abba, I just thank you for this person, I thank you for allowing me to know that there are still many in the world that needs to know about you. I pray for maturity for this person whom I do not know. I not angry or anything, but just feel that this person needs to know you Lord.

~Love your neighbour as yourself~

3 more days to O levels Science Prac

2008-10-13T10:54:00.002+08:00

Oh as the title shows, time is running out.

Just wanted to post:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MISS Gladyst Wong!
my ex- chinese teacher.

~Byes Byes~

All the Best People.

2008-10-11T00:38:00.000+08:00

Jiayou for O levels!

Thats all for now, going to study.

~O levels~

2008-09-15T23:56:00.002+08:00

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
- Matthew 11:28

Abba keeps his promises to his children.
He listens to us no matter how busy and how underserved we are.
Even the number of hair we have, he keeps count.
Since he takes care of the sparrows in the sky, what more you, his children.
Would you be less worth than a sparrow?
In times of adversity, he's always there with you.
Though Abba does not always help you solves your problems, He promises to be there for you no matter what, if you are weary and about to give up, he'll always be there to restore you.
Even the slightest illness, he's is willing to free you from it if you call out to him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
- Proverbs 3:5-6

Thanks to my teachers...

2008-08-30T00:17:00.002+08:00

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!!

Well, I kinda miss a few teachers.
1. Miss Toh , (1e5, 2e5 form teacher, history teacher)
2. Mr Nick (Care prog Teacher from phss during sec 1 & 2)
3. Mrs J. Simon (P5 & P6 teacher, NCPS)
4. Miss Yap (P6 Chinese and form teacher from NCPS)
5. Miss G. Wong ( my temporary MT teacher in sec3)

Special thanks to the above 5, not forgetting Mrs Ng, Mrs Ali and my favourite teacher Mr J. Chia.

Happy Birthday Trevor

2008-08-26T00:48:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREVORRRRRR! =D please do take care of yourself okay.i'll be praying for you.take care and God bless! (:

Reflections

2008-07-31T22:15:00.003+08:00

I have been worrying so much about my studies, my lack of discipline and focusness that I seem to have lost sight and faith in God. My problems have become so consumed me that I have failed to see that God provides and God knows. The 'twists' in life will eventually lead to the path that God desires. I need to keep reminding myself that and not lose hope in the midst of uncertainties. Only God knows where to bring me to...

Your grace is sufficient for me.
I am glad You provide in your own time.
God, i want to thank you,
because you never fail.

Restore me again, renew my strength.

I realised how much I look forward to attending church. Learning lot, I am spiritually hungry, like what Mr Chia might have said. Things are not in my favour, trusting that he will bring me through this critical moment.

I have learn to see things from the other perspective and even when there are uncertainties right now, i know i must stay strong to the faith and be certain that my God will provide for my needs. So Iwill continue to trust and press onbecause You know what is best for me.Lord, let your will be done in my life. Trying to apply all that I have learnt in my life.

'Every person, event and circumstance are God's exercises to build up our faith, hope and love.'
~Continue to have faith and hope~

Old Memories...

2008-07-29T22:04:00.002+08:00

My sec 1 and 2 DG members...
From Left to right
1st Row: Daniel Koh(DGL), Jeanette (DGL) and Jacq
2nd Row: Andrew, Jaime, Barry, Daryl, Trevor

~precious memories~

Recharged!

2008-07-26T23:14:00.002+08:00

Brought a few of my friends to church... bet them felt pretty weird since it was their first time...
Thankful for what had happen today... Worship was great... Message was interesting too...

Taken a group picture of our sec 1 and sec 2 dg... with Jeanette and Daniel Koh, whom I have not seen him for ages. Ended off with Daniel Koh praying about our exams, prelims, o levels. Well, he ended of with Exams aint everything, got to agree with that. God will see us through.

Whoever the person, who got nothing better to do but spam my cbox... oh well, do what you want... I dont really give a damn about it already...

~Critical --> Miracle~

30hrs famine camp... raising funds for World Vision to help ppl in Laos

2008-07-19T22:38:00.003+08:00

Well, I participated in the 30hrs famine camp, organised by our church in response to helping World Vision raise funds for the people in Laos who are suffering from poverty. Upon watching this video, we should feel very fortunate as compared to these people in Laos, irregular meals, thousands of people dying every second. They live on cockroaches, frogs, crickets, and many other insects. Can you imagine if you were there, could you even survive? The pain and suffering of the children there, its makes me feel disturbed. They have to walk few kilometres, just to search for food and beg for money but they never complained. While some of us, walking a few kilometres, to school, to a nearby shopping mall, we start to complain tired, legs aching and etc.

As fellow human beings, I believe that those who can afford it, just donate to world vision like maybe a dollar, though it might seem to be an insignificant amount, but it actually can save many lives of people in Laos. Upon watching this video, I hope that you can just reflect about it. How many times have you ever complained about food not to your liking, MP3 or Ipod memory too little, and etc. As compared to people living in poverty we are so much fortunate. Living in Singapore is indeed a privilege, for the country provides us with education, proper healthcare and proper housing. We should be thankful to God about what we have. Let me ask you something, other than your handphone, would you be willing to like sell your other electronic accessories like mp3, ipod and etc. To just help the children who are suffering, the disabled whom live in poverty. That was a question posed to me.

Upon watching this video, I personally feel that I should go help out in mission works. To help the less fortunate out there. To be willing to step out of my comfort zone to help them, perhaps from what Bryan told me, help them build things, wash the toilet, cook proper meals for them, and ration food that were collected to them. I just have this holy calling to be doing mission work.

~Reflections from 30hr famine~

TO: Gena

2008-07-13T00:05:00.001+08:00

Hey, I apologise, guess you wont be seeing it for a while... rather busy over here...

A sad story...Kelsey Smith-Briggs.

2008-07-10T00:14:00.002+08:00

www.thetruthaboutkelsey.com To know more.... about this poor girl who died before the age of 3 due to child abuse.

Rushing with my many hw...

2008-07-04T01:21:00.002+08:00

Guess this blog is somehow dead, I dont really have time to make it live again. Oh well, this post is more or less to thank some friends of mine which had helped me with my homework...

Special Thanks to Mossy, Justin, Debra and Gina...

Proverbs 19:21~23
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.
What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.
The fear of the Lord leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

~Tired~

More photos....

2008-06-20T19:20:00.002+08:00

How is the choco cream birthday girl?
Poor Huishan, wiping off the choco cream on face. decorated by Huiling haha.

Photos by: Huishan and Huiling

~More to come I guess~

~Group Picture!!!~

2008-06-18T22:44:00.002+08:00

Back row (left to right): Chad, Barry, Tuan Anh, Khairul, Shi Min

Middle row (left to right): Desmond Boey, Dominic Boey, me, Huiling, Dory

Front row (one and only): Jon

Photo by Huishan

~End of Photos~

Happy Birthday to Jaslyn

2008-06-18T21:01:00.008+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JASLYN! Finally 16th already.

This is Jon above... getting his choco cream on his face...

Birthday Girl Huishan had her shared too... 4times in a row I guess haha.....Nice makeover haha.
I believe she was trying to put some choco cream on my face haha... In the end I am clean. Yeah!
Up, Down Left, Right, full of choco cream... poor Huishan (ps for poor resolution)
Two hunks, Huishan Primary Sch friend. Excel in Sports. Dominic in collar T, Desmond in blue.

Dominic's turn to get a choco cream facial haha....

Huishan: " You will get it!"

Well, that's all with the pictures. More to come...waiting for BIRTHDAY GIRL to upload into facebook. Took bus 51 from Hougang interchange.... simply a long ride.. basically toured the whole Singapore. 2hours trip.. could had been a 1hr plus trip. Well, still, it was a fun time. We left of late... so much for meeting at 10am when we left at 1045am haha... When we reach west coast park, we still had to walk rather far to reach mac to meet Huishan's friends. 3 to 4km I think. Thank God for a sunny noon initially. Get to play the obstacles course and everything. Wanted to climb the pyramid but was afraid of heights haha... Only Chad and Huishan went all the way up.

Best of all was going for the spin and the jumping on the wooden board with everyone. Jumping was fun, lucky no one fell off or got injured. Jon, Huishan, Me went bersek, jump so hard till we all were afraid that it might spoil. Lol...gt such scratches and stuff. Not long after, We finished the drinks. Then came the twins, Dominic and Desmond. They also went for a spin. Took a group picture too. Will upload in too. They were both super hunky haha...

Lunch was next. Huishan's parents brought food. There were sotong balls, baked potato, some marconroni with some sauce haha... Had a mixture of different types of Pokka teas haha. It was still raining rather heavy. We also played some indoor games. Like mainly number games haha. It was fun. Had to leave them and help find Gena and Kris. They walked pass 40 over lamppost haha.. while i had to walk pass 10 lamppost. Then decided to ps them cause they knew the way.

Later, around 4, played ball, continued jumping and spinning. Head got rather dizzy haha... Monkey was fun. Started off with me and huishan being the monkey then many more came. It was rather shaky cause we both stood at the wooden circle meant for jumping haha. Went to sit on some swing like thingy. took turns. It was rather fun. Had to pull many of the rest to the start point cause we were all rather light haha. Soon, we got bored and went back to the pyramid and continue to climb. This time only Huishan, Shimin and her stead and one HC guy went up despite being afraid of heights haha. Gena, Jon and Dory were sitting at one corner. Oh yeah the HC guy was Tuan Anh. I was with Huishan sis, Jolyn. Helped her took some pics of her sis who was at the top of the pyramid. Had a good talk too. Time flies when ya having fun, soon it was time to go home. The rest hitched a ride from Huishan's dad and me and jon had a ride to our homes. jon alighted at amk.

Thank you for the ride and food! --> Huishan's Parents.

~Totally Fun~

Moving on with my old blog

2008-06-15T22:38:00.001+08:00

I will be moving on to my other blog. This blog would still be in use... Post would be updated weekly from now onwards.

http://www.everlasting-till-the-end.blogspot.com/
Friends of mine whom have access do visit this link. Thanks. Bye for now.

~Moving on~

At Bryans's House... ....

2008-06-12T17:45:00.002+08:00

Well, receive an invitation to try study at Bryan's house last night. Worth a shot haha... cause I doubt I could study alone anyway at times. Woke up around 7 30am to eat breakfast, went home to take some stuff... headed to th coffee shop to help Bryan get his breakfast- Meepok noodles. Took bus156 to the nearest bus stop from his house. Still needed to walk quite far to get to his house. HIs house is rather deep in the Jalan Kayu area. Around there... would get lost there.

By the time he woke up, watch part of some surgeon movie. It was nice and funny. That was while he was taking his breadfast. Later, it was back to bussiness- studying

Studied Chem there... there was the main thing. Well, he shared the way he studied for his O levels and A levels. Well, I should be following his method of studying I guess... Its very organised in a way that I like it. Clearing like perhaps 1 to 3 Chapters in detailed a day. Would start it maybe from next week. Need to do some planning before I really start. This weekend would be a good time to plan out my studies. Hope this is gonna work for me.

Had lunch at the coffee shop near his house. But before that, play a little basketball at the nearby court before eating. Play ABC and HORSE. When we were hungry, we went to eat and after that about an hour of basketball. Oh well, it was tiring of course, helped to life bryan so he could do his pull-ups. Then walked back to his house for a shower. Wanted to study after that, but we both feel tired, for some reason. Had a good slp. Here I am bloggin nw. Later have physics tuition. Hope I dont feel sleepy at all. Thats all for today.

~No procrastinating anymore~

Time to move on... ...

2008-06-09T22:15:00.002+08:00

I will be moving on to my other blog. This blog would still be in use... Post would be updated weekly from now onwards.

http://www.everlasting-till-the-end.blogspot.com/

Friends of mine whom have access do visit this link. Thanks. Bye for now.

~Moving on~

Hillsongs- Lead me to the Cross

2008-06-07T13:48:00.002+08:00

A meaningful song...

Lead me to the Cross:
Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Chorus:
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

(End of Chorus)

Bridge:
To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

~To be more Christ-Liked~

Class Chalet....

2008-06-04T15:58:00.002+08:00

well, can say it was fun. Although it seem liked it was going to rain forever, thank god it did not. Rained only after we finished our captain's ball game and one more. Later headed for the shelter. A few passer by.... Chatted with a group of kids. Cant really type their names...were rather difficult to spell haha... They were a bunch of cute kids... lol. One guy even ask me for hp no. to play dota.

Later went to chalet. Saw timo and Debra. Debra was with her bowling mates doing some treasure hunt... Oh well, timo was like stoning, doing his job as a lifeguard.... Sitting now there doing nothing. I on the other hand, walked around, playing pool, playing cards, talking to timo. Quited boring though....

~4e3~

Work is piling....

2008-06-01T22:14:00.003+08:00

Been slacking this week, time to get moving. Got tonnes of physics homework, waiting to be done. Amaths tuition work also to be done... Amaths and Emaths tys also to be done... EL also got things... Wonder How am I going to clear all this?

Hmm... wont be going to Pulau Ubin, not sure correct spelling. So few ppl going... oh well, means extra time to do some work. Been rather busy, hence not updating regularly.

~Clearing my workload...~

PTM

2008-05-30T18:52:00.003+08:00

Well, this would be for the week. Keeping it short, yesterday, played bball with seah ( not sure right spelling ) Won by a little. Close match. 7:6. After that, went home cause had a little stomach discomfort. That was for thursday... should not had come school so early in the morning... literally very boring.

Today, managed to get some sleep finally at last. Wanted to go sch with bris but who knows... could not find her. Instead, took 163,met derrick and gang, km and some others. Today mainly was ptm. Well, AT mother alr at the hall waiting... AT herself at btm chatting with us. Just when AT came down,Viv got to go up haha.. Well, my results really sucked... need to buck up. Later, was rather bored, chatted with the usual group I hang around, then went to bball court to try my luck at bball. Well, waited for a while to play. Though it was short, it was fun. There were about 10 ppl playing, mainly the 4e2s. There were KR, Jaryl, HY,Amanda L, Evon, David, QM, PK and some i dont know how spelll... ps... Been some time since play bball. HY fell... and yeah... leave school and preparing to go kovan and celebrate Doctor Reg Lee bday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Doctor Reginald LEE!!!!!

~END of MAY~

What am I thinking?

2008-05-19T18:27:00.002+08:00

Grief melts away,
like snow in may,
as if there were no such cold and sad thing.

I just cant figure out myself.
I was asked myself some random question.
"What am I truly thinking deep inside of me?"
I couldnt find an answer. I just couldnt understand myself.
There just a lost feeling that is within me, waiting to be found.
Unless I get an answer, I guess I would never be focussed.

~Incomprehensible~

please listen lord.

2008-05-19T12:27:00.004+08:00

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Lord, I thank you for the meaningful time you have given to me, to just read more about. I pray for this fire to never be extinguish but to continue to shine brightly. Even with whatever busy things I am involved, make my priorities right. I hope that I would be consistent in continueing to grow in your word. Grant me the discipline to do the right thing at the right time. Just as I commit my upcoming O levels into your hands, I pray that you would continue to be with me, granting me the strength and endurance I need. I lastly hope that procrastination to leave me.

Thats all I have to blog for today. I have slack enough. A week is more than enough already. I reverting back to my old timetable. Feels rather weird for me to slack for many days. Will blog and go online less often. Saturday is my only day to rest and just worship the Lord.

~Transformed By your words~

I wonder how great is our God.

2008-05-18T14:45:00.001+08:00

This songs expresses my feelings and my thanksgiving to him.
Through it all
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You
I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
Youll never let me goThrough it all

Hallelujah, hallelujah

DJ max...

2008-05-17T21:56:00.002+08:00

oh well... today was like playing the DJ max psp game yy help me upload into my sis psp. Oh well, slightly getting the hang of it. Oh well, today really nothing much.... Went to simei, heard music blasting in eastpoint. Curious, went to take a look. Oh well, it was some carnival.. with some campus superstar people... singing...Hanged around for a while, later walked to church. It was super warm... or should I say hot. Worship was good... message was ... nth to say. CG discussion is fruitful.

hitch a ride from Clara and Debra father...Debra was like playing the DJ max... making all sort of weird and funny noises. Can tell she very focussed. Clara did nt want to play... Went to simei to check if the mini carnival was still there. Apparently, I was thirsty and went to get my passionfruit milkshake and it ended... headed to kovan... went to verygood.com.sg office and playeed chinese chess for a while before uncle steven sent me home.

~DJ max~

playing Pool 1st time...

2008-05-16T23:50:00.003+08:00

Well, this is to say thanks to some friends I left out yesterday.
Thanks to Sarah and Raenes for the happy birthday wishes.
Thanks to Gena, Vivian, Amanda Ting and Shi Min for their wonder strawberry gift for me and helping me celebrate my bday.
Thanks to all once again for the wishes.
Did I leave out any? I doubt so.
Oh ya, Thanks to Debra... for her super big wishes on her blog...and for being the first to sms me at 12midnight.
Last but not least, Thank you to the verygood.com.sg team for buying me a birthday cake and celebrating it at night with me... Esp Doctor Reginald Lee and Aunt Michelle. Special Thanks to my mum!!!

Went early to have a chat with Mr Chia... its been a long time since we both chat. Though it was short but it was fun. Oh well, been quite worn out...this few days lots of things happen. TOday got some mock chinese exam.. hall is so freaking warm. Could not even do the paper well... took xtra paper to fan and cool myself down. Oh well, after the whole chinese exam, went to the library and waited for my group of friends. Decided to go pooling... Waited for Gena, Amanda, Viv and Shi Min...Oh well, upon, meeting up with them, forgotten to go see teacher cause too into pool liao... maybe addicted. Oh well, on the way home, try using the t9 functions and gena told me type out something like about going poooling. If you type "I am going pooling with someone else name" it would end out like I am going smoking with friend's name.

Oh well, missed one 163... but still accompany AT, Viv, SM take 163 home. Oh well, it was rather squeezy.. almost could not go on the bus... Shall not say what happen...sounds rather wrong haha.. joking nia. Now I am trying to play O2 jam while waiting to play pool.... In the end instead of 5 people... it became 3 people... SM was sleepy and like.. then AT at least reason quite okay... appointment.. forgetful person... Oh well, not really exp after all. 3.33 dollars for me, gena and viv each. total was like 10 dollars.

Went home and played the psp like crazy... trying out the new games YY had transfer into my sis psp...

My 16th Enchanted Birthday

2008-05-15T15:25:00.003+08:00

Today is my birthday as seen above. Am thankful for the few wishes from my friends during midnight. Proud to say I do have friends though I seem to have none. Gena and Lois wished me the day before. Debra smsed me during midnight... the first one. Afterwhich, was Marianne, followed by Liying, Kokming. After that, the others were in school amazingly. Well, kinda touched and surprised for the 4e2 and 4e3 people to like "scold" the you know who. Well, Dory, THY, Jaryl, Jerry, Gab, Evon, Justin, YD, 2 Amanda (Ting / Lim), Viv, Mel, Chermel, Huishan, and many more 4e3 and 4e2 and some from 4e1 like JW and Chris. Sorry for not mentioning the names. I could remember only a handful. The only one who gave me a mini Bash were AT and HL.. one kick one really whack... ouch... Supposed to play pool with Gena, AT,Viv,SM,DT,HS,HL and a few i think... but got held up with some stuff.

Gladly to say, This year was the only year so far that I received many wishes. I thought what I only had was a few sch friends and mainly from church. Thanks alot for my friends who wish me a happy birthday. At least, it wasnt really a bad day after all.

~Enchanted Barry's Birthday~

What am I to do?

2008-05-13T16:31:00.003+08:00

I feel like breaking down. Things are getting more chaotic. I not sure what I should do.
Feeling both a mixture of sadness and joy. Should I cry or should I smile. Things make me so happy, then things make me fall into despair. Friends are never friends. Because of some friends, I got into a crossfire.

Today, felt that I improved for English and Social Studies. Fell badly for maths. What is left is my science, history and chinese. All is in your hands. I really want to break down. Everyone is rising and here I am sinking to the bottomless pit. Would I become a goner? Everything is against me rather than some that is for me. I dont feel like talking anymore. Its meaningless... what is meaningful... I wish I could be more optimistic. How could I ever me? 20% for a maths... it seems all light has vanish. Darkness had overcome and filled me. I guess I have fallen into despair. Two upsetting news. What am I to do? Never ever felt so helpless before...

Lord, plz just guide me as I read upon your word. May the Holy Spirit keep me strong. Perhaps once a while to break down is alright. I really am directionless. I feel so helpless. Just be my pillar of strength. Hide me under your arms.

~Heart Breaking.~

Is this really it?

2008-05-11T00:14:00.002+08:00

Today CG discussion was very relavant.
I wonder why has it always have to be me?
I wonder why people always have to interfere?
Just because I can communicate better with girls than boys doesnt make me someone to be hated?
Its normal... and dont I have the rights? I know it had always been alan who has been stirring this issue up. I so feel like bashing or killing him. I know its wrong of me to think this way, thats why I choosing to forget it. To be not part of the world, guess that is what lies ahead. Thats why i dont like school. Whatever I do, it'll nv be enough. Why is this so? Stereotyping and hatred is Satan's most sinister plan. It would never be removed from the world till God has come to bring us to where he is. Its not the first time, I also cant stop them from having this type of views... the only thing I can do is I guess just leave things in his hands.

God, I just wish you would just continue to be there for me. Be my shelter, protect me from the deadly arrows of the people of the world. Carry me into your arms. I just a vulnerable and weak child of yours. I really afraid... plz guide me through this period of time.

Reflections...

2008-05-10T20:37:00.002+08:00

Well, powerhouse was as per normal. Guess the no. of people are slowly decreasing....Message was good. I believe I really need to readjust my priorities. Well, the very significant thing is the pebbles and golf ball illustration. Well, if we put in the pebbles (minor issues-study, friends, etc.) first and not the golf ball (Christ, family.. etc), we would find that we are unable to slot them all in. however, if you do the opposite, you would find that everything would fit in the container nicely.

So, this illustration is to tell us that we have to place the more important thing that the urgent thing. That was also what someone told me. Dont forget the important for the urgent. CG discussion was meaningful and fun. Well, I was to grade myself between A to E on how bodly would I acknowledge him and how well is our relationship. I would say a C? Cause its up and down. That is something I know that aint good. Trying to work out how to better manage my time to fit in everything in place. I try my best not to doubt. I am glad, I have gradually stop using vulgar langauge. That a improvement. Uncle Lux (not sure right spelling), shared how memory verse can help us lead the right life. At least, you would be reminded of how you are accountable to christ. He and Jeff shared some funny experience and some situation in which they almost started a fight.

Too many to say. I guess I would update about yesterday's happening later?

Happy Mother's Day Celebration

2008-05-09T22:37:00.003+08:00

世上只有妈妈好
有妈的孩子像个宝
投进了妈妈的怀抱
幸福享不了

世上只有妈妈好
没妈的孩子像根草
离开妈妈的怀抱
幸福哪里找?

You would be amazed by how powerful this 3 words "I love you!" can do. Mother's Day is coming, wishing all mothers a very happy mother's day. Well for those who havent say this 3 words, this is the best opportunity to do it. Show how much you appreciate your mummy. A simple hug is also one of the thing your mum might want just from you. I believe your mum would appreciate it. Well, my mum is great, perfectly beyond description from words.

~Mummy I love you~

Some thoughts of mine...

2008-05-08T21:02:00.004+08:00

I wonder... he here and then not. I wonder if that is his will for me. But nevertheless, I trust he will ultimately make my path straight no matter how bad things may be for me. Well, good thing now is that, exams are over, I am able to devote back some time to him, for I have neglected him due to exams which I am feeling guilty about.

I starting to put all my trust in him. I guess its just something he had placed me through. True enough, I did had my doubts at first. After much thoughts, everything is in his hands. To live and to walk by faith. If there should be any disappointment, it is he that is disappointed in me. I basically had sinned in almost every possible way. Trying to change... as best as possible. I thank him for the many friends that are able to guide me back on track and pray for me. I thank all those who had prayed and sms me. Oh well, I must thank one particular person. Lois, she basically help me solved quite a no. of problems. Thanks a lot.

I just quite disappointed in myself, I never seem to be able to let myself relax. I'm not sure if I am doing things the right way, but i know that only My science and humanities are doing well, or if not better.

God has a plan for every one of us.
He knows what's best,
All you gotta do is trust.

This life is entirely up to you.
But God knows what He wants us to do.
He loves us so much, but we are unworthy.
The only way to give thanks to Him is to live this life God gave us, faithfully

Taken from Debra's blog...its quite meaningful. Guess its time to thank him for all that he had done for me.

~Grateful for all you have done~

2008-05-08T12:56:00.015+08:00

Oh well, I cant edit my post....

2008-05-08T12:56:00.014+08:00

Look at the btm picture...
I wonder who she is looking for?
Opps... I just mentioned Fishing Ball?

Happy Times... leave the unhappiness behind.

2008-05-08T12:56:00.012+08:00

Oh well, stupid Additional Maths Paper 1 and Paper 2... totally tio owned by those papers... I not surprised if I get a F9 for it...Hope the rest should be fine....

Oh well, ate pizza with DT, GW, SM... then went popular and had a good laugh....Night time, had conference for a while before chatting with lois...chatted an hour or so...fun but I am tired now haha... Oh well a picture to end the day. Needed the slack...

I wonder...

2008-05-07T00:42:00.002+08:00

Everything is rising... but salary of working adults isnt really rising...
Expenses have increased...
Tension has increased...
Hope what is left of what I have now would remain and not fall apart.
The only pillar of support is us. (My siblings.)

Well, I just really want to pray that things wont fall apart. God, please with your almighty hands prevent this for happening. I really dont know what would become of me if things really happen. I just leaving things in your hands. I cant really do much. You have bless with me with these things, yet I took it for granted. I just sorry and hope things would not end up the way I expect it to be. Hope things would get better.

~Dont fall apart~

The Song: So Close I believe

2008-05-05T13:53:00.002+08:00

To Dearest Sarah:

I've placed in the Song for you under my Cbox. See, upload for you haha... Thanks for the Tag and chatting at night haha. See ya on msn.

~Off to study~

A Song for today...

2008-05-04T21:58:00.002+08:00

I'm so secure
You're here with me.
You stay the same
Your love remains
here in my heart.

(Chorus)
So close I believe
You're holding me now,
in Your hands I belong.
You'll never let me go;
So close I believe
You're holding me now
in Your hands I belong,
You'll never let me go.
You gave Your life
and Your endless love.
You set me free
& show the way
now I am found
(Chorus)

(Bridge)
All along You were beside me
even when I couldn't tell
and through the years
You showed me more of You
more of You

(Chorus)

Finally managed to change my CG. Thanks.

Doggies...

2008-05-03T21:13:00.002+08:00

Oh well, day started off fairly well...Mrs Ng sms made me more frantic... I cant really understand the physics.. dont really see the link. Managed to get the help of gena, and derrick. Oh well, at least still got a glimmer of hope. Went to eastpoint to study. Was rather windy, managed to study a little there. Oh well, time flew fast and slow haha... depends. i managed to efficiently study for 1hr plus before my mind strayed away haha...

Somehow, I am into collecting cards haha... random cards that is. Well, managed to clear most of the electricity and the whole light chapter. Dont know if I should chiong physics. History, read briefly, hopefully can smoke through?

Before going to church, waited for clara and debra, went to church together haha... was fun chatting with them. Met joevan on the bus.. nv really notice him haha.. .Oh well, message today was cool... like the illustration in which how we should priortise our time. Golf ball and the pebbles... placing into the container...Went to the 2 Clara cg, haha..jeff and bubu were like saying what WATERMELON BANANA... lol... funny group of ppl. Rather enjoy their CG. Managed to learn quite a bit... Uncle David answered quite a lot of philosophical question...He answered many... he super knowledgeable i guess...

Bussed to simei... with Debra and Clara. Well, they were sort of my tour guide... brought me around eastpoint. I nv knew there were popular and a christian book shop till they brought me,... i so blur haha... been to eastpoint 10 over time haha...Oh well, they heading for some funeral... accompany them home, two dogs greeted me haha... they were rather hyper haha. They were cute and friendly towards me.... overfriendly haha... jumped onto my leg haha.. quite tickish.. Went to say hi to their parents.

oh well, a tiring day for me... Good Nitez!

~Dogs are cute~

I cant absorb..

2008-05-02T23:47:00.003+08:00

Well, now I just finished studying, so here am I blogging. Physics.. what a pain... I can hardly absorb anything. Hoping to relieve stress through blogging. Hope it does work. Realise the night is getting warmer and warmer haha.. I wonder if there is powerhouse tmr. I feel like going to church and study first cause I would have little distraction and perhaps could concentrate more.

Well, today was also Social Studies and Emaths paper 1 exam. Social Studies was a total disaster. I did not even know what I was writing or rather, my inference I guess were rather screwed... SEQ... see the detrimental.. stunned liao... attempted healthcare but stuck then moved on to LTTE. Hope my SEQ can pull me up though it was a crappy effort, few evidence from b question just some links... hopefully can do me good. Hands were too numbed... hardly could write fast. Oh well, at least I managed to finish the paper. I know that Huishan.. rushed question 1b but did not managed to clear 1d... hope she can get at least some marks for just a few sentences.

Oh well, there come emaths, had some emaths pro people to help me. Oh well... the emaths paper seemed rather easy... hope i can score well.. cause i guess paper 2 was a killer. STUPID standard deviation question...I and Gena pressed calculator but cant get it... while Amanda and Vivian could get it... What the hell la....oh well... too late to brood over it.

Celeste can make wonderful blogskins.. envious haha... www.th-highwaylove.blogspot.com Chatting with Sarah... haha.. get to relax a while... huiyi... now gbing.... what the hell... zai sia...

Exam Schedule..

2008-05-02T16:06:00.001+08:00

24, 25 April 2008: EL+CL papers
2 May 2008: SS + EMaths
5 May 2008: Elect Hist + Science (physics) + CL Listening
6 May 2008: Emaths + Science (chem.)
7 May 2008: AMaths + Science (phy/chem)
8 May 2008: AMaths

Mixed Feelings...

2008-04-30T00:29:00.002+08:00

Hey, its time to wake up Barry! You dont seem at all worried about your mye. Plz study!!! For your mum, for those who have faith in you. Dont disappoint them.

I just feeling weird now... I have changed I supposed. Should I revert back? Like you had said, I indeed had change. However, there's still a mixed feelings deep inside me. I hoping to rid it. I just never want to feel alone again. Feeling a little lost now. I guess I need to look for directions once again. Can you be the one who will guide me? Hope that when I seek him, he would sent someone to guide me back on track for my studies. I hope it would be you but it would be hard since we would not be likely to be talk oftenly.

In the stillness, quietness, I lay down, waiting for you to be the one to pull me back
~Guide me Back~

Pasir Ris Pictures

2008-04-28T17:07:00.007+08:00

Guess, kun long, Ian and Debra are enjoyiny preparing garlic bread...
Before that Debra is distracted... poor ian and kun long are trying to fix the bread...
Jacq's mum is helping them keep the bread for later....

Yummy, Daniel is enjoying his marsh mallow (above)
Tired after a game of Captain's Ball
Dog is the centre of attention

ANDREW is dreaming...
Everyone is hoping to eat one of those.....
The most popular bbqing marsh mallow...

We are all very thristy after our game....

Oh well, simply that is what I am posting for today. Hope, Ian and Kun Long did have fun.

I Offer My Life.

2008-04-27T13:43:00.004+08:00

All that I am, all that I have I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them
yours

Chrous:
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come
true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted up to you.
________________________________

Oh well, I think I had mentioned about 3 commonly asked questions.
Is God Unfair?
Is God Silent?
Is God Hidden?

I been pondering for some time. Conflicts, unrest, revenge, jealousy, lust and etc. All of this are part of the world. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
Be in the world, but not part of the world. For the first time, I listened through the whole message by Pastor Leonard. Its quite a meaningful, it made me reflected a bit on my christian walk. I seem on the right track, yet again I dont think so. Has studies somehow had became an idol? I know many christians students do struggle with managing both. I know its difficult to do so, I just want to pray that I would be able to do it. I dont want to take what he had given me for granted. I want to know him more, he shown his love for me through so many circumstances. Given me the chance to excercise the gift of faith and encouragement. He had blessed me with many friends. Some of whom, I will never forget, for they had in your perfect plan, had impacted my life in many ways. I thank you for placing them in my path, knowing them was my privilage.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
This verse is from those of my friends to whom they are facing trouble in life. Be it christian or non christians. I never really understood the meaning of this verse and how to apply it till this year. He had expose me to different situation in which I had to rely on him, for my ways are not really the right. To trust, to take the step forward with absolute faith. Easier say than done. It is through obstacles and crisis he had placed us in that we are able to do so. We must realise that we are helpless without his help. Though at times, he might not reveal to himself, its for our own good. The way we perceive him as not loving us, not doing things for our own good, is actually for our own good. We see things in a narrow perspective. Unlike us, he sees the broad picture.

Today, I read upon one verse in church today, it tells us about what God wants us to do in life.
"God's goal for each of us is maturity. He works with us to bring us to the fullness of His likeness: That we should no longer be children tosses to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness by which they lie in wait to deceive, but, by speaking the truth in love, may grow into all thins unto Him who is the head - Christ" Ephesians 4:14-15
I hoped I would be able to achieve that someday. I slowly and hopefully in the right path. Well, I had discussed with a few of my friends. hy and I chatted for quite late, around 2 plus last night. It was a good chat after a long period of time. I really miss that haha.. could remember almost everything. We talked about changes, exchanging views on how we had changed and how we are now. After all, its not what we had done but what we have become. Raenes, I just hope things get smoother for you. I been praying for you, hoping that things would be better.

Well, anyone who feels troubled, do come look for me, sms me. I would to my utmost best to help you and pray for you.

~faith & encouragement~

2 pictures...

2008-04-27T01:25:00.001+08:00

Pasir Ris Park...

2008-04-26T23:16:00.003+08:00

This whole day had been all so slack. Wasted 1 day alr. Today isnt fully wasted. At least managed to spent time with my friends. This morning played yugioh with kia liang and my bro. I know its kinda lame... but i no come liao... so yeah. Played till 2pm.

About 2 15pm, I rushed home, thought I would be late in meeting Debra and her two friends. Oh well, dont know how spell their names. Oh well, after all, it would not be nice since I would be bringing them there. Oh well, when I arrived, there waited for her last friend haha. Rather thristy and sweaty.

Reach Pasir Ris at lets say around 3 45pm then walked a long deserted path, super quiet man. But thank God, we made hell lot of noise haha. Walk for a long long time. Later, call jo, he rejected call, call nette, she also not going... lastly decided to call matt haha.. At last he answered, otherwise I did be so lost haha... Well, by the time we reached there, it was 4pm when we were supposed to be there at 3pm. 1 hour late. Oh well, its normal i guess. They just started the fire and organise the captain's ball team.

Did not really play Captain's Ball for long. Lost my touch and lost my interest I guessed. Or perhaps today game was really too imba. So did not bother playing. Just left. Oh well, being called as some lightning man or something haha... After had a message, but those around me were busy looking at the dog. Jaime was funny man, she had a caterpillar or what looks like it. Then she was like tapping Bryan, asking him to sweep it off. It was funny, her xpressions.

Debra and her two friends were slogging to do the garlic bread... pity her two friends, nv play but just help with the food. Oh well, maybe they were not interested in playing capt ball. They were bowlers after all. Food for the bbq aint alot. Waited for clara ( debra sis), she somehow managed to find her way with her father sending her there.

Left shortly after walking at the beach, chatted for quite a long time. funny jokes and lots of random stuff. At least managed to know more about their friends. They play dota too haha... We were slightly hungry, slack around for a while till it was getting dark, decided to go eat something at white sands. Walk a long trip, helped this lost kid find his bro. Later on, saw aunty michelle. Sh e brought us to a shortcut I guess. It was rather a fast way out. At least we knew we were not alone haha.

Oh well, still went to white sands, needed to walk. Well, debra and my leg were rather sour. Long the other guy was not tired cause they sat for long time. What worst is I played Captain's Ball.... Clara was super hungry, so went to mac to eat. found a place. Ate rather a lot, slack for an hour and a half. Andrew, Daryl, Renee, Caitlin and Daniel Lim came. I was like shooting "Debra", immediately Clara and her two friends stared at her. Just then, Andrew called me... I was like .. wth.. gg liao.. haha. They left earlier though we came earlier haha. Oh well, talk about bowling and school life at the mrt for a while before we scattered. Bussed home, quite fast, only lrt was slow....

Chatting with hy, raenes and sarah poh. Long time since I laast chatted with them. Oh well... time to catch up.

Tired now, pray for me, life is screwed. Thank God for the friends I have this year. Not a lot but I am contented with what he had given me.

~Friends~

At wits end.

2008-04-22T19:54:00.003+08:00

Well, I am indeed remorseful about what I had done to Edmund. I know I had overdone it a little. I am to blame since I did retaliated. He threw a pen at my face, it was hard and painful. In my fury, I just ram him down. He said I did not had any sportsmanship. What type of sportsmanship is this?

After school, he just pestered me. I wanted to solve it through mediation, he did not want. Want settle things outside. Know what that means? Bashing outside school. I did not want anymore fights or conflict. I had fallen into the temptation of Satan once, I would not want to fall again. Well, after all, he used various means of psycho me, daring me, calling me hum, but this time I thank God for helping me keep my cool or else history would repeat itself. I feel like asking for help from teachers. I know if I did what Edmund told me to do, the consequence would me much devastating. Well, I knew violence this time was not an option, running was the best option I had in this point of time. I finally knew what it meant from ANGER TO DANGER. I hardly have any friends to support me. Felt quite lost till km told me to run. I finally believe that it was God's will for me to run. I thank God for him sending the bus 163 on time for me to make my way home. I dont know what would happen tmr but I just hope God would still continue be there for me.

I currently reading Psalms in hope of answers of helping me in dealing my problems. I at my wits end. What I can do is to just follow what God wants me to do. I committing my problems all to him. For his love is so great, I believe he would make my path straight once again.

~Lord, plz hear my calling out to you~

In a mood of desperateness

2008-04-21T18:51:00.004+08:00

Oh well, wanted to thank God for helping me in my studies. I starting to rely more on him than on myself. It took me sometime for me to do it. He did help me in my chinese oral and SS SBQ mock exam paper. Though it was not an Ace or my ideal mark, I still want to show my thanks. I got 16/25 for SS SBQ and 25/40 for Chinese Oral. Well, it was not too bad after all. I was expecting to fail my oral, but before that I did prayed. He did help me through after all.

My bag was spoilt and I had to get another, went to CP to just search for bag... did not have any ideal bag though. Since I needed one urgently, just anyhow bought one... $55... so exp. Oh well, it would be lastly hopefully. I met quite a no. of ppl in CP. One of which is totally unexpected haha. Well, first time, met Joel and his project group members. Followed by Vivian, Yen Ping, AT, Chris and did I missed anyone? haha... Went home cause I did not had enough money with me. After I came back not long ago, saw wendy and huishan at bk. Went to sit down for a while. Left to get a drink and came back and saw BENJAMIN LOW!!! So long nv see him le... MIA so long. Haha.. had a good catch up with them. Bussed home with Huishan... met andre too haha.

Your faithfulness never fails
Your faithfulness everyday
You're the same

I feeling your presence near me. Helping me in my studies. I thank you for your everlasting faithfulness, so forgiving despite all that I had done. What you have done for me I dont deserve it. I thankful for you being there for me. Too many things had happen. I just want to commit one friendship into your hand. There's this tension between, making me feel uncomfortable. I just hope things would be smoother. I thank you for also 3 friendship you had given to me.

Erm, Debra stop probing about it..., okay? hard for me to answer your question. Need ask his permission first.

~Tired and chionging~

Saturday and Sunday

2008-04-20T16:55:00.003+08:00

19th April 2008
Started off the day with Chemistry tution. Hopefully I can get the hang of organic chemistry topics. Quite a lot of memorising. After on, headed to Dhobby Ghaut to meet up with shimin and her stead. Huishan also went too.. then later they studied for some time while I went shopping for watches... I could not find any one I fancied. About 5, I lost them... did not know where to go haha.. ran around in circles to get them. Whole body perspiring... Shopped till around 6plus then leave for home. Did not want to be the "light bulb" so I took the opposite line from shimin and followed huishan. I alighted at bishan for dinner... only bread.. to eat... Did not go to church cause I knew I could not make it...
______________________________________________________________________

20th April 2008

Well decided to blog today caues, yesterday I was too tired... walking around shopping with huishan and all... Stomach muscles still a little pain after napfa. Oh well, today is Sunday! The day to worship God. Went rather early... chatted with Noel for some time and ... he told me still got time to slack... like wth? Christel as usual... took my hand and use all her strength to hit me... ouch!. Oh well, its her routine. Headed up for congregational service. Sat with Clara and Debra... cause I came slightly later and found no place to sit. Oh well, the message was like... by Pastor Leonard... ppl were like...zzZ halfway. No offense. Had to stay a while for some briefing for next week Pasir Ris Park outing. Hope that it would not rain on that day itself. Got to trust in the Lord to bless us with a sunny day. Hope everything would go on as planned. Haven been attending CG... so yeah... dont really affect me. Went to Simei with Clara and Debra. Got to thank their father for sending me to Simei... otherwise I would have to walk there... super hot day... Super fun suaning ppl... haha... okay not really serious... just for fun. Anyway, wonder where do I find nice watches. I looking for puma watches. Bugis hav? Anyone tell me?

~Guilty~

Wishes to Debra

2008-04-17T14:44:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO DEBRA!!!

This few days haven been good... Been failing a number of test. Should remain healthy... absent from school could meant that I would be behind the class for about a few chapters... Hopefully, I can catch up. Too many thing had happen lately... I just wish for saturday and sunday to come... I understood more things and just question my faith too. Mr Chia did help me clear some of my doubts. Thankful for him to guide me. Really appreciated his help. Right of now, I wonder who is the person whom... spammed me a few days ago... so vulgar... haiz... wonder where are his / her basic manners. Not really angry or what... just pity that person... dare to tag... dont dare put down his name. What a coward indeed, not even proud of his / her name. Oh well, to whoever it is... tag for all I care...

16th April
_____________________________________________________________________

17th April

Things I hear often come and go. +/- comments. I just wonder what makes ppl... think... I... __________. Anyway, conference with km, hy and xw. Wondering about what makes people change. Km did ask me about a few stuff... what I answered was the past is over and the person is not in PHSS. That was the clear his doubt. Trained home with DK, Elmo, Vivian.... talked about some stuff... kinda lame. Guess history would soon repeat itself. What happened last yr would happen once this yr, I suppose More things are arising. But dont really care. What aint true... just aint true.

Managed to do my QT yesterday, the lord had told me that he aint silent... its just I do not have the desire to seek him thats why he's silent. He does care even in the midst of troubles although he does not really show it. What I see as his concern might not really be, for his ways are above mine. He cares for me... I would trust him to protect me from the wickedness of others, deadly words from the world. Was glad that I did my QT yesterday. It was indeed meaningful and relevant in my life. Although it was just a short 15~20mins, I glad I managed to do it. I have not been doing it that regularly this few weeks. Busy is just an excuse.

Now as for napfa test... shuttle run timing for our class 8:84 I think... the fastest I heard so far by KM. I only got 9.25... not too bad I guess. Hoped to get 9sec... As for sit and reach... I got 57 and sit-ups got only 42/43 just nice for A. Hope can get A for the rest of the station.

Tuesday always rain.

2008-04-15T19:19:00.002+08:00

oh well... thanks to shimin and her dad for fetching me home... otherwise I guess I would be drenched in the rain and be late to reach home. post the rest later... ...

Am I living the right life?

2008-04-14T23:54:00.003+08:00

Oh well, I just finished attempting SBQ for SS. I wonder how in the world am I supposed to pass. I like everything also dont know how to do...I wonder what should I do... very worried. You see, the way Mrs Ali said about us referring to textbook when we should not even flip through it makes me feel worried. What she says does make sense. We , erm no.. its me that is in the danger zone...

I just aint leading life the right way I suppose. Well, I should be spending more time with Christ as a Christian... and as a student study is all I should be doing now. What I am doing is just being distracted, not focused. Games, procrastination, avoiding...

What should I do? I just like a lost sheep. O, lord, please do find me from the wilderness.

Let this be my prayer: "The lord is a refuge for the opressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

~Listening, awaiting your holy calling~

Church today...

2008-04-13T19:05:00.002+08:00

Well, today really not many people went to church. I wonder its because maybe exams are coming. Managed to get some notes From Jonathan Koh. Thanks for his history and chem notes. Going to flip through it...Today, during the welcoming... estelle's dad did the welcoming.. super funny. Today message was delivered by Pastor Luke, its about encouragement. Everyone do need each other support once in a while... should be all the time. He encourages us to gather as small group to just pray for one another in times of neeed. Despite being tired, I nv fall asleep haha.. amazingly... slept at 2 just msning... Debra, then wake up super early... like lets say 8? 6hours of sleep... should be sufficient for me haha... lol she slept like pig.. sleep till 10plus... Been quite slack on both saturday and sunday. Just hanging around with clara and debra... lol. Got lost in bedok.. then headed back to simei...

A MATHS sucks... so many I dont know how do.. shouldnt have MC so many days... Ended up doing E MATHS... so many homework... Am I able to finish... one answer.. NO.

Psalm 27:7,9-10
Hear my voice when I call,
O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.
Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

Same bible verses...

2008-04-12T22:22:00.004+08:00

Oh well, today woke up early as usual to do some last min studying of history. Was not much of help either. I let JY view my history file and he read my CW notes.. super beneficial. At least that was what he said... sad liao.. should have read then do the CW SEQ... Oh well, English was so-so... squeezed up the lrt. Dota for a while though I know I'm not supposed too.. rather guilty thinking about it.

My mum is great she fetch me to church and then back home. Well, powerhouse worship was led by Jaime and team. Managed to slack somehow or another just chatting with Debra and her sis, Clara. Message for today was interesting cause of what Pastor Chang said about his experience with a demon-possessed man in church. He managed to keep me awake cause he left the story unfinished.

Checked out Debra's phone and found out we had the same display note.... it was from 1 Thessalonians 5:16--> Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is GOD's will for you in Christ Jesus. This verse was first introduced to me by Jaime cause of some Christmas card. Quite a meaningful and helpful verse for it brought me through difficult times.

Did some self study on the bible as I decided to so called quit my CG. Felt it was better off for me to be alone. Reading the book Mr Chia had lended me. Its a good book I would say. Its tells us about how people are disappointed with God. Actually, it should be the reversed. Later, wanted to lan with Jeanette and friends but ended up eating dinner with Debra and Clara at eastpoint. Chicken rice there was rather good. Initially wanted to go lan instead of dinner but who knows haha.. I ended up eating. Fun time shooting....who? the magical baby lor...whom keep saying that she's the angel and I run slower than her.... ...=( oh well. Thanks mum for fetching me home.

~Good Day~

Quote from...

2008-04-11T17:18:00.004+08:00

Without some how destroying me,
how could God reveal himself in a way that would leave no for doubt?
If there were no room for doubt,
there would be no room for me.
-Frederick Buechner

MYE is coming...at a fast rate.. Aint very focus now... I wonder why...I cant really carry on being distracted.. now there is no need for "If only", hopefully I can get back on track now. Hopefully I dont regret a single bit. Currently, I'm just like a warrior who does not even know what he is fighting for. I know I should not be confused over such things... but many many things are always making me think. Partly caused by... anyway... I believe that I can rid it since I did it once before haha...

After this stupid mock exam... I would go all out... history and SS liao...cause i doubt I would have time revising that for mid year... still got physics topics to cover... currently that is my weakest subject now.

~stop thinking.~

Disappointment?

2008-04-10T18:13:00.002+08:00

Been a long long weak... failed 2.4 by a mere 20 seconds... Oh well regretted attempting it. I was choking because of that my bad cough. Haiz...nvm... hopefully I can pass if I only recovered... lol... many cant believe it.....

Oh well... I wonder why this few weeks.. many had been coughing, stomachache... me... Amanda... Dorothy... Vivian.. Raenes... lol... so many. Anyway, got lots to catch up... absent for 2 days and I have mountain high pile of hw. Oh well...managed to catch up with some friends... Currently very interested in reading... Christian books... Made me ponder on questions.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

A period of sharing...

2008-04-06T14:51:00.002+08:00

Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking and I am glad that I can at least share with two people. Two whom have guided me quite a while, helping me in my walk with Christ. I thank God for the presence of this two in my life. They had indeed impacted my life.

Today's message was by Deacon Paul. What are we living for? Are we living for Christ? Are we living for friends and family? Lots of reflection of mine, reminiscing some incidents that happen over the years. Finally found an answer today. Well, although I am not really doing well in CG, there's always some friends whom I can go to. I doubt I would be attending CG again, at least for now. Oh well, dont ask me why. I just cant give you an answer. I gonna find the purpose of him who placed me there.

There is this desire to find out more... but what hinders is the procrastination and excuses. I will end with a song.

There Is None Like You
There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long and find

There is none like You

Your mercy flows like a river wide
And healing comes from Your hands
Suffering childer are safe in Your arms

There is none like You

I could search for all eternity long
and find here is none like you.

~It is he who is the one I live for~

Feeling frustrated...

2008-04-05T21:48:00.003+08:00

Oh well.. day was not started off well... I forgotten to bring my calculator and there's goes my emaths mock exam paper. Luckily, Miss Tan managed to get me a calculator so I could attempt physics paper. Thank God for the help... Protractor and eraser got misssing... some idiots might have took them. Yiyang, Geraldine and still got some others had their stationary missing. Anyway, lesson learnt today was to check everything needed is there in my bag b4 leaving the house...

Headed off to church... Was slightly late for powerhouse service. Had some sharing by some lady. Did not quite hear clearly what she was saying. But at least.. I managed to catch hold on some of the main pts. CG discusssion was still relatively okay... oh well deep down within me... i felt that this was not quite the right place for me. It was too noisy.. I just feel not interested. I wonder why... its just isnt today cause I was frustrated... what is wrong with me?

Was this just a temptation?
If it is, I wonder how can I overcome.
I've been skipping quite a no. of CG sessions...I do feel guilty.

Oh well, I guess I am going to write ... ...compo? Currently chatting with km, raenes annd huiyi...
Oh well, guess tomorrow would be a good day for me hopefully.

I dont even know how to even type out how I feel. Its expressionless...

Irresistible / Irresistable by Hillsongs...

2008-04-03T01:24:00.002+08:00

I behold your power and glory

Bring an offering, Come before You

Worship You Lord

In the beauty of Your holiness

Whenever I call You're there

Redeemer and friend

Cherished beyond all words

This love never ends

Morning by morning, Your mercy awakens my soul

I lift up my eyes to see

The wonders of heaven Opening over me

Your goodness abounds

You've taken my breath away, with Your irresistible love

~Your love is beyond what we can imagine~

Sick and weak...

2008-04-01T19:22:00.002+08:00

Romans 5:6-8
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

God's love is irreplacable. I thank you for allowing me to know you and let you work through my life. My life is in chaos... time to work I end up playing, time to study I feel like sleeping. Lord, I pray for you to grant me more self discipline. I am aware of the many things I have done wrongs, the deadly words I said when I was angry. I pray for forgiveness too for also neglecting you most of the time, doing my own work and merry.

Today was bascally a short day, managed to clear 3 compos, special thanks to Deborah for helping me do some editing and for the ideas haha...

~Really need you in my life~

In need of his help...

2008-03-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

"My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalms 121:2

OH well,

2008-03-30T14:46:00.003+08:00

now for my weekly post, just finished SS and EL paper one mock exam... Hope I dont screw up my SEQ for globalisation and I should be safe. Went home straight before heading to powerhouse. Damn, I think I lost my wallet... need to get a new ezlink card and wallet. Matt and friends were play some marvel game... some old one played in ps1. My dear Mum, fetch me from church to office. Went to Changi T3 for sightseeing... it was rather nice.... pictures to be up soon...real soon. Went to kallang stadium. Had a late dinner at Mac. Guess I gonna put on more weight for now... NAFA test is coming... Did not play Capt Ball for long.

Damn tired... after my tuition and now in office. Going to replenish myself. ZZZ Sleeping now.

~Missing church~

Oh well...

2008-03-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

Okay, finally managed to clear my amaths hw. But emaths.... still not done. Went to church celebrate easter sunday. Managed to talk to Ben and Noel for a while.... its been some time since i last went to church on sundays. Chatted about O level and stuff... Jonathan Koh managed to have some physics notes for me... that would be good for me... Went to make my new pair of spects... today... oh well...I wonder SS how... dont even know how to do my SEQ.

Oh GOOD LUCK to Debra for a bowling competition. Get well =).

~Tired~

Black Box Saturday

2008-03-22T22:11:00.004+08:00

Oh well, Yesterday went to church because of Good Friday service. Watched the movie Passion of Christ. What strikes me most was also the scene where Mary went to Jesus when he was carrying the cross, telling his mum about he making everything new and not about his suffering. After, had a wonderful discussion though it was rather long. I came late for worship though, but there was another led by Jaime. A short one. Headed to Pasir Ris with Jo and his family. Thanks to them for sending me to Pasir Ris and offering me to join them for dinner. Wanted to go but ps cause i think its their family time. Oh well.. headed to CP, met keith and KYY, Skm and friends. Went home and wanted to dota with Km but cant haha... My this whole weekend timetable is kinda screwed. Cause been going to church for 3 days including tomorrow.

Today was the black box saturday, Daniel Lim and his team had some performance. Came early to watch the first one. Jillain sent me some songs, so did Melissa. Oh well, the performance was nice. It made me wonder how strong is my faith. Oh well, left after the first performance. Wanted my mum to sent me, but she was involved in my sis birthday Party....Went to the nearby mrt station with melissa before heading home. Lucius was funny, at least when he was moving around with the gun. It made both (clara), me, debra laugh... I guess it was just clara ( stardust) who just made all of us laugh. vWell, today was rather fun.

Debra, so ans me Do you Have a Blog? lol.....

~Marksmanship~

Okay, this might very well be the last post....

2008-03-16T21:37:00.002+08:00

Oh well, tomorrow marks the start of school and the start of my chionging of studies. Self discipline is all that I asked from you. I not going to use com for entertainment... at most I would only use it to print things and homework. Perhaps no more blogging. Sad for me but no choice, its a sacrifice for a greater good of mine.

Well, wonder who my new chinese teacher would be... I only did 2 out of 10 of the questions I were supposed to do. Guess I would be down for a hell lot of scolding haha... Prepared. Perhaps going to study in a group but the challenge is to be able to aline my timetable with the study group. I going to view out my opinion on ace.

ACE PROGRAM SUCKS!!! SIMPLY WASTE OF MY TIME!!! ONLY HUMANITIES ACE IS USEFUL!!!

Who cares... Going to get my parents to write a letter. At most I do their worksheet. I still can save a hell lot of time. Unless the teacher is going through lesson, if not I would not even bother to go la.... To hell with ace program....

~Feeling of Uncertainty of the Future~

Photos since a long long time

2008-03-16T11:38:00.005+08:00

I love my gift alot....

United We Stand
My Counsin's birthday Cake
Stormy Day... Explains my emotion
Does the clouds form a shape of a crab?

My Aunt and JJ
Cousin JJ enjoying his drink
Uncle Peter and his family
Birthdays Boys are happy
What the hell is Jaryl playing... funny?

PK being so engrossed in his shooting game
Jaryl too.. Huiyi taking photos... but nv saved... lol.
Stop taking photos of me!!!

Okay, these pictures are all I wanted to post up.... Finally at last.

Holidays are ending. I had a good time.. since a long long time.

2008-03-15T22:56:00.004+08:00

This holiday is the last time I am going to slack... Mum made me do a timetable. I was to strictly adhere to it. Oh bother... its for my own good. To be honest, I only did physics homework. I had no graph paper so cant do maths. I still unsure about what to do about SS. I only remember that there was an essay question. Chinese... I not sure should I feel resigned about it. Hope the new teacher would be good. Enought of school work.About the fun I had, first was the food fest at suntec, I went with Doc Regin and UNcle Eric. A lot of eating.

Secondly, was today... went to church for a while for worship and fellowship then halfway after the sermon, received call from PK. That was when I decided to leave and head home. Ended up playing badminton at with Jaryl, Pk and Huiyi. Got 4 ppl but nv play doubles. Got to say, its been a long time since I last touch a racket. It was kinda humid. PLayed for about near 2hours. Went to CP at around 1930, could not decide what to eat. Had to have HY decide by flipping coin, we were so indecisive. We all ended up at KFC. Slack at KFC while waiting for her to finish her dinner. Went arcade played some racing game with jaryl. I was simply a noob ahha.. I dont play arcade games. PK was playing Time Crisis 4... completed the whole game. Damn zai.. Jaryl played some drum game but with only one note. I did taken some pictures but hopefully can upload tomorrow. Taken so many pic but come got some prob and hence cant upload.... I did perspire the whole day running here and there. All went to the fitness corner chat a while seeing how play some PSP game DJ max similar to O2 Jam. About 2230, all decided to sent hy home. BUt jaryl suggested paying david a visit... lol. His mum opened the door...Oh well... after sending her home, I ran home... Pk brought Jaryl to the bus stop.

Its been fun and a long day for me... hope to have more My leg hurts. This would be one of my last post I guess.. unless its some special occasion.

~Fun since a long time~

Finally done with my blogskin...

2008-03-14T12:07:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to Amanda Ting (Lemon)

Oh well... did not do much of my homework... only did physics mcq... I been searching for many blogskins.. most were nice but could not use for some reason. I ended up using one of nette's blogskins. Rather nice dont you agree?

Oh well... my mum birthday is coming up... wondering what should I buy for her... this month has so many ppl birthday. I guess today I would go out and shop for gifts. Wonder what I should get.

9/3- Gina's birthday
14/3- Amanda Ting birthday
18/3- Mum's birthday
23/3- Daniel Koh birthday
24/3- Don's birthday & my sis's birthday

Its been some time since I relax....

2008-03-12T19:48:00.002+08:00

11/3/08: Actually was rather demoralised... Dad was like comparing me with others... just felt the feeling of what it meant to be insignificant. What's like to be never praise even for a slight improvement. Failures are what ppl tend to see but improvement to them are just transparent, insignificant.

12/3/08: Today was rather good. Early morning was not quite feeling good... feeling a bit sad. Mum decided to give me a day off and I went together with Doc, Uncle Eric to suntec for the food fest. It was rather fun. I had to eat and drink some nice drinks. Later went to meet Uncle Henry at city hall. Met xw and justin.... met xw like two times -.-''. btw, on the way to kovan... I met many ppl. It sure was windy today and windy made my day. She managed to make me smile by calling me 'cao mei' which is strawberry in chinese. Everyone on the lrt was like staring at me.... They were some juniors of mine. Saw Adeline Liew and Rebecca but did not talk. Anyway, today I was reminded of many stuff... Had a better day. Chatted with doc lee and doc foo. Their advice was rather encouraging and motivating. I needed that. Mama Lemon birthday is coming... and I think i got tuition... omg... Oh well... hope sat comes... at least I would feel much joy going to Powerhouse. Guess nxt Good Friday, I would be watching Passion of Christ.

~Sour & Resigned~

Ehh... many Birthdays...

2008-03-10T17:17:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since I last blog. okay, well this month will make me broke la... got so many ppl birthday gifts to get. My mum, sis, sing yun and Amanda. Like dont know what to get... Anyway, on saturday, after that ptm thingy, went home cause I cant get my report book. Kinda waste of my time. Went down to chat with the NCC ppl... thank them for cooking for me when I help out in the UG camp. Oh well, later when to hougang mall with Gena, SM, and Vivian to get some ingredients and gifts. Well, a good thing is I get to burn time and shop before going to Powerhouse. Shopped around at red man... some stall which sells ingredients for making cake. Hang around there for 30 mins or so... that headed to shop around at Hougang mall and got some bubble tea to drink.. Was crapping throughout and it was fun.

Met Samantha at tanah merah mrt station... well I was supposed to land at simei but I missed the train station. I damn stupid la... could take bus from there to church but I made a detour by walking from simei. Oh well... I was tired and was not feeling well so I just laid at the playground, worshipping God. Then went to admire the sky... took many pics which I will upload some time later. Dinner was good... had fish n chips. Played Captain Ball like for 5min .... played with a paper ball...

Sunday was when I visited my mum office. Its quite big, comfy as there is air con there... good place for me to study. I guess i will be there more often. At least my mum can watch me when I am there. haiz... got sch during the hols.

Failed my A maths, English and Chinese. Only chinese was serious F9 -39.0 while A maths and English were just borderline failing marks. Hope I would do better during MYE. ORal was kinda difficult but I saw i got 19 for two components. hopefully I will do well... Thanks to Mrs Ng for the advice... Honestly, I guess its the study enviroment and Dota that is affecting me. Dota is within my control but the study enviroment is something beyond my control. I quitted dota alr. Time to spend it on doing comprehension. Damn sad... failed 3/6 subject. Okay... off to set my timetable. Will blog less often =(

~DRILLING~

~Irresistible~

2008-03-05T06:13:00.001+08:00

Whenever I call You're there
Redeemer and friend
Cherished beyond all words
This love never ends
Morning by morning,
Your mercy awakens my soul
I lift up my eyes to see
The wonders of heaven
Opening over me
Your goodness abounds
You've taken my breath away, with Your irresistible love

Feeling relieved & Stressed.

2008-03-05T05:52:00.002+08:00

It's not the healthy that needs the doctor but the sick.

I glad I have been able to do my QT at last. Been rather busy this few days that I neglected spending time with him. Thank you for taking me as you had found me. Standing by me through my failure. I wish to know him much better than before.

I am disappointed in myself though... friends around me seem to be improving but its been who is lacking behind I suppose. All around me I see ppl getting B3, A2 for humanities. Here I am, dont know what I am doing all the time getting either failing grade or border line passes. I just not satisfied. Hope this would force me to catch up. Thats what I doing trying use anger as a push for me. Guess my report card results would be worst. Pass 3 subject and 3 fail I think. Oh bother... study life is so screwd this time.

What's more is that I dont even know how I did for physics. Guess my class is slow in our lessons as we have already missed many physics lesson. Guess its just self study now, no more spoon feeding.

~tired~

Two days of reflection...consistency of revision.

2008-03-02T07:41:00.005+08:00

Whatever that does not start with the Lord will end in failure. Always ask for wisdom and Guidance in whatever you do.

Trainers: Amin, Melvin & Huimin
Friday: Its been a fun time, as well as touching at the same time. Everyday is a day of laughter. To be happy or not ultimately lies on you. Our parents and us resemble a little like a candle. The flame is very vulnerable, easily extinguish but there always be a shelter from the wind, everything that wants us to extinguish. Unfortunately, I find our parents like the wax, supporting the flame to still ignite, once it is used up, they no longer can ignite the flame. Meaning that we are only able to carry on the first half of our bridge (life). They cant be here with us physically all the time, but we do know one thing, giving our 100% in everything that we do which also includes treasuring our parents. Besides studying, I am glad that I do have a very strong relationship with my mother. I working the one with my father but as you know its never easy. Its hard to say it out. Perhaps an email will do... Now that I am sure of my direction, I am going to work on it. I found new friends which I do treasure alot and also going to work harder and not lose out to them. I do appreciate the trainers' effort to help us treasure our parents and the school was allowing us to be in this program. Went home in Kuan Jie (KJ)'s father car and inside was amanda ting, me, vivian, edmund, chad and I think i left someone out.... Let me recall. PS. I think is sze min (SM). Sorry if spelt wrongly

Saturday: Oh bother, I miss church but I know the lord had wanted me to learn something. Sad, its the last day of the program. Hope to see them come back to our school. I wonder how transformed am I. The closing ceremony was good. I remembered Super Teens camp. It was similar but this IAG camp was definitely much better alot. No offense. Just how I feel. Lol... I feel touched like for the past two days. Lots of confession of their love for their parents, proclaiming how they will change for the better. Leaving many with tears. I'm glad that my mum came. It took me much courage to go up. I decided to go with hao wen. I missed one chance but I decided not to let this chance slip away. It ended with many crying, telling their parents how they feel. We all ended up on stage, singing the school song, saying the school motto and appreciate our teachers. It was very loud haha... first time I have seen the sch graduating classes so enthusiastic. Later went home with KJ, been the 3rd day le. Waiting for AT and Vivian to get on the car. Waiting for SM, then Vivian suddenly remembered her parents sent her home liao... like omg... nvm. Damn hilarious. Got to thank KJ's dad for fetching us home. This time SM did not come but instead we had the previous ppl but added PK! haha... fortunately we were all flexible ppl... haha. Squeezy but fun. PK and AT were like arugeing about who redder. Lol... funny ppl. Headed home and online to chat with Mr Chia and had time playing with Abel & Barn. Talking to Mr Chia is fun sia.... talk for so long. But he nv eat dinner and headed to sleep. Lol... Before slping... was like smsing many ppl. David Shim asked why I nv come to church but now he should know why. haha... AT is just like a 'clown' keeping ppl entertain and laughing. Eg. Pk, Me, Kj. Playing who looks redder and like a pig etc. I heard there was another booster session. Haah..

How you do anything shows how you do everything. It really reflects well. Love & Hope is what mainly keeps us going.

~Enchanting Experience~ -->(EE)

IAG study camp....

2008-02-28T21:37:00.004+08:00

Erm, ppl, I have stopped using my tagbox. You can leave me a comment and will get back to you asap on my post. Anyone who still uses my nickname/ name to tag is not me.

Its been quite a funny day. The IAG trainers are rather funny.. First was Amin, Second came Melvin and lastly Huimin. Basically we were just laughing most the time. As what most of the teacher said, it is rather interesting. Heard km got full marks for history question 1a, like almost a 48% of the total score. The catered food we had were still okay, chatted with Mr Chia for a while. He one interesting teacher. Hmm... the lessons were meaninful had me ponder on lots of things. Hopefully, I would be transformed for the better as teachers say so.

Should I serve or not? A question which has been within me for 3 years. I think I will as its time for me to serve after procrastinating for so long. Felt He had called me but I just did not do as he wanted me. Perhaps, I was not very confident of myself. Would miss church during to the IAG study camp. Maybe, I just would sms Bryan about my decision.

To Stardust: hey, dont be disheartened & depressed over your test. you'll nv get O for your test. I know how you are feeling. Its just the beginning of the year, give yourself time & perhaps you would do well. I not sure if you feel that you should drop your h3 subject. Just do your best, God will definitely do the rest. Prayer works in wonders. If there's anything troubling or you just feel sad and need someone to hear you out just sms me.

To control your emotions or let the rule over you. You decide, how you are feel is all depends all on you.

~Cheer Up =)~

Celebrating my counsin's and my uncle's birthday

2008-02-24T17:12:00.002+08:00

I will soon upload the pics. Eaten lunch at shore restaurant...food was nice... took many nice pictures. Planes were flying like every 15mins.... perhaps was due to the airshow... Guess Mrs Ali was there at the Airport T4 to watch the airshow. Heard from my classmates that she was rushing to go there and ended lessons early haha... no la... she teaching too fast.

HIstory test was rather screwed up i guess... HOpe I still can passs. Anyway, I guess I would go church and relax. Went to church rather early. Chat with Sean, Caitlin, Joe and Abel. CG was okay... but message was...

Dinner was rather plain for me. Had just fried rice...Later played around with the P6 ~ Sec3s for Captain's Ball. Dave is so cute la.. when he plays the ball. PLayed J1 & J2 vs the lower sec... quite fun but tiring. Wanted to go home with Bryan but... ended up with elizer haha....

The moment....

2008-02-17T19:38:00.003+08:00

Oh... The moments (youthjams) was good. Many ppl brought their friends. It was rather fun... CG on the other hand was....

Dinner was good and yeah... while waiting to play Captain's Ball... of all things to happen, Lucius kicked the ball up till it was stuck on the huge tree...

Will post some videos and pic soon... this post is deal for too long and here I am to feel things up.

Later, played dota with my friends... owned them...lol joking. haiz... got tuition tomorrow...

~stressed sia~

Common Tests...

2008-02-14T17:30:00.002+08:00

I hardly have time with myself alone... Common Tests this whole week. Oh well.. been rather tired and even skipped my QT. Oh boy... I am feeling guilty now. I came upon to read about an email... its rather interesting. Its about a conversation between "me" and God. It revealed to me many things. maybe I did post it up sometime.

happy bday to huiyi!.

Today rather a tiring day. damn it... I almost could hit L5 for ss.... thats what heard from Mrs Ali...Anyway, I do have high hopes for my humanities now. Hope it would not be dashed. Tomorrow is phy/chem paper... sian... I do am worried for tomorrow. But worrying is optional... guess I cant helped it... science now... seems like one of my weakest subject considering its one of the main subject. Been smsing.. thats the only thing that can somehow keep me awake. Realised its vday... today. Maybe I did go watch kungfu dunk and JUMPER! bet jumper, the movie is nice. Its been released today. Maybe I did watch it with ppl from church but common tests is spoiling everything haha.

OK... I post here for now. Thanks to Clara and Sarah for the entertainment... All the best for my test performance.

~I just want to be where you are, able to understand your word~

Essential Words to remember.

2008-02-12T16:33:00.001+08:00

The most damaging one letter word, avoid it: I

The most satisfying two letter word, use it: We

The most poisonous three letter word, kill it: Ego

The most used four letter word, value it: Love

The most pleasing five letter word, keep it: Smile

The fastest spreading six letter word, ignore it: Rumours

The most enviable seven letter word, achieve it: Success

The most nefarious eight letter word, distance it: Jealousy

The most powerful nine letter word, acquire it: Knowledge

The most essential ten letter word, maintain it: Confidence

~Remember~

CNY celebrations...

2008-02-10T15:24:00.000+08:00

Now at Doctor Foo's house... bloggging... Just came back from church... Pastor Luke came the sermon... rather short. Erm... had a good lunch. Doctor's foo wife cooked chicken rice and many other food. The hainan chicken rice was good sia... serving was small though. Exploring his house.... very big sia.... will post some pictures later when I reach home. Thats all for now... Really dont know what to post... .nth much.

~Enjoy guys~

PIctures.........

2008-02-07T10:07:00.000+08:00

Okay... uploading pics for the past few days....

Meeting up once again....

2008-02-06T18:54:00.001+08:00

Today rather boring... so many speeches done... average 15mins each. School performances.... still okay.... rather short and good... Chiong to ncps... saw anqi, huishan, ru en, huiting and xiu er... As usual nth of them changed much... visited Mrs Simon and Miss Yap. It was a short but fun day. Went to tampiness mall...saw matt, and john. Guess everyone is doing last min shopping.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CLARA!

pink is my colour... smiling not stop

2008-02-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

Saturday: mainly went to tampiness area to do some CIP for Lin Kuan Youth. Distribute flags and tins to students. Jasmine and her band friends came to volunteer. Stayed at the station with Doc Yang, Auntie Nancy, Uncle Hong Hock and 2 other LTA members. Did 8 hours straight... it was like so cold. After which went to church and waited for Mum to bring me for dinner with Doc and uncle henry. haha.. rather satisfied with the food. Did not go for powerhouse service. Dota with nette and estelle and barn with some other ppl.

Today, was rather a fun day but tiring. Did not ... went to dota with nette and all... later watched naruto on youtube. Planned the pri sch meeting haha... hope it would be fun.

Things aint going so smoothly...

2008-02-01T16:18:00.000+08:00

Been sick for this week, missed my physics and maths common test and tea sessions. GOod thing I miss it haha.. but sad I miss my test. This would meant that I needed to stay back after school do test... =( Boy it was damn worrying and irritating I suppose the actual thing was. Glad Mrs Ng summarise it very quickly. Need to do some time table thingy to please principal and threatening to not let us take O level. Like wth? Nvm, its the last year in phss. Ok problem now is I got lots of things to do yet so little time. Okay, got chem project to work on then.

Still got 6 hours of CIP work to work on. Haha... hope I would do well for A maths. Kinda screw up my E maths. Things look it aint moving so well as planned.

~Resting~

2008-01-28T21:53:00.001+08:00

to trust is to obey and have faith for he will do wonders.

to submit is to let go, let God work in me.

I am going to try to play my part and I need to pray for him to help me.

I hate it when I am left alone to think because of the past and present. I hate it when I have so many things that distracts me.

whats wrong with me? I am lost, I really am ; things have changed. I am no longer what I was. We were no longer the same as before. I hate life that and I dont know what to do. Take me as you find my fears and failuresfill my life again

+Powerhouse+ & Church

2008-01-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

Saturday
Yeah, as per normal... Sat was rather fun during the afternoon. Morning has class lessons for humanities. Wished Mr Tan Happy Birthday. Sad, got to teach us on his birthday. Haha... he sure is one good teacher. Cabbed to simei... burned instant $10 and extra $5 for lan with the senior in powerhouse. Eoin, Me and Glenn vs Jeanette, Barn, Estelle, John and Samuel. They sure were pro.. rather intense game since both were on par haha. Hoping to go there again with them someday. Ride in Jeanette's car to church haha.. the others older one got to walk to church =p. We all were discussing about enchantress haha... the pain in the ass.

Powerhouse service was fun, message was short and sweet. Seah led CG and amazingly, someone talked for 10mins straight for CG. I was like wth... quick end and go for dinner. Sat with jeanette Barn and gang talking about the match while waiting for our usual Captain's Ball. Somehow, Tim just thundered the ball onto the 2nd floor. Andrew climbed the ladder and climbed up to the 2nd floor just to retrieve it. Left at 9pm while the others continued to play on. Took a pic with Jeanette, my CG leader, before i leave.

chat with Clara on msn....rather funny. I been guessing what she doing and so far rather accurate. Fun chatting with her. Listen to her chatting about her CG. Hope she does not feel so odd because she is the only j2 girl there. Pray that she would be able to adjust to her CG. Talking about CG I also do need to adjust to the CG hopefully. Let the lord work in both of us.

Sunday
Today nothing much to post... just managed to get some songs from the enchanted songtrack... thank Clara in advance haha...Trevor played some intrument... was like wow... nv seen that intrument haha. Ok... off to do some SEQ and my testimonial which is like.....

Angry and trying to clear..

2008-01-25T15:05:00.000+08:00

I dont know how come my real diary is missing. That is rather important to me... Damn angry with myself... losing that book. Got a few dates I nv copy down and ya.... nvm can still ask friends for their birthday and when are some church and CIP events.

Oh well... its already done... rumours are spreading around fast... DOnt really care about it. I just want my diary back thats all. Say what you want, think what you want.

What keeps me happy is still the church gathering tomorrow at some lan shop... playing dota with Barn, Jeanette, David, Estelle and friends. bet it would be fun. TOmorrow would be a good day hopefully. School sucks...

~fury within~

Its back to the young age...

2008-01-20T21:37:00.000+08:00

Hahah... dont really care about school life matters. Its kinda boring just to blog about school life. Mugging, typing out all essay for history. Sian...

Sat was fun... saw abel in church with Jaime and her friends. Everyone all wore Kiddy clothes. Sleeping clothes, uniform.. kiddy hairstyle.... cool. It brings back wonderful memories when we were young haha. Watched the videos, pics, camp echo basically. Played are you smarter than a Camp Comm. Would say it was rather fun. Dinner was better now... chicken rice. Later kinda played with the sec 1 and sec 2. It was rather fun to realise that I am still fit. Afterwhich, waited for the ball and finally it came. We chose our team rather quickly. Jeff, Ren Qian, Jie Hui, Jie Ren and some I forgotten. Oh yeah matt too. It was rather fun. Amazingly, I got more stamina now. Can play and run longer in games. Should have seen Clara, Tim and Andrew... they were funny.

Sunday was rather boring. Though I feel kinda bad saying this, the message was rather boring. Many were feeling rather restless. Finished up my SEQ. Yeah happy now.

Overall... this week was fun. Daniel Koh came to visit us. Happy Birthday to Sue Lyn.

~Young again~

What memories I had in church...

2008-01-13T19:24:00.000+08:00

yeah, yesterday was inter-cg games... I participated though I was not much of a mood to play. I was just thinking of what kept me here. Mainly God of course and partly of friends. Had lots of games... Lol... wat kept me tired was melissa attempting to catch me... made me run like crazy.... and knocking against Jillain's leg. Some part of her leg which felt like "metal". Her crying and laughter dont really make much of a difference. Lol... guilty now sia... she having competition today. All the best to her though.

Thats all I want to post for today. I would post in my other blog about others. See ya guys.

~Lord bring me to where you want me to be.~

Changes and Choices

2008-01-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

Changes
I have been thinking for the past few weeks, perhaps since the last week of December. I been wondering about what change I would see next year (2008). I reflected on my life, it somehow I feel a bit meaningless. I am now in a new class, new environment and new CG. Recently, I have written essays about juvenile delinquency and doing research on it. It somehow reminded me of myself in many ways such that the only difference was I had a proper family and did not commit any crimes. The description of their thoughts and behaviour were also resembled those of mine.

I feel like I am experiencing a change in me. It might be a change for the better or perhaps for the worst I not sure myself. I feel a little guilty now saying so much to three people whom were rather concerned for me I supposed since they read my blog which I believe few would do it. I am pending down my feelings down now in response to these few friends who bothered to ask me about how I am doing. You could say what I dread most is loneliness and I have been praying and hoping that the Lord would reveal me a path, a choice that would best suit me. I might be ungrateful in the sense that I am not appreciating what I have been given and my mind has been struggling about something. Leave or not?

I recently just shared with my friend what I am experiencing and who has just been attending a new church. That friend of mine is now an adult now whom I feel rather comfortable to talk with, told me about how things worked out for him. He told me to pray first which I was doing now. He told me that even if you do go attend church service but do not feel yourself in CG or whatever you call it, it’s not beneficial for you would not be able to grow. I thought about what he continued to say and it makes sense. Friends have invited me to attend their church, many but I wonder which church I should go to. For I believe that every church in the world have its different purpose for God allowed it to exist. I will still give myself some time to think, so as not to make a stupid choice and regret it in the end.

Another friend who is someone whom I also respect a lot asked me about how I had been doing. She said to me something. Its always silly to have thoughts of leaving and not running away from the problem and advised me to adapt to it. It’s still God that I am coming to church to worship and sing praises to. That I am clear but I feel kind of drifted away from everyone else. I wonder why… hard to relate to others. Hence, feeling sort of _______ in me. I admit there are still people a few perhaps less than 7 people in Powerhouse that is worth staying. Honestly, only 4 people that I feel are making me stay. But I’m not staying because of them. If God wants be to go to another place, I would go otherwise I would not leave. I know you would always be there for me and listen. I thank God for me to have such a good friend. You said that I should look around and perhaps I will realized that this church is still the best. Perhaps I will…Your messages made me somehow touched that I shed tears…Thanks Jeanette.

There’s this friend whom I am rather fond of though has also asked me the same question as Jeanette. She’s always encouraging me and helping me throughout my difficult times of decision to. I thank her for that, always been there listening and encouraging me. I not saying I dislike my CG just that I prefer the quietness, short and sweet as like in the past. I just feel I can’t fit in anywhere. This is what I feel; it’s a situation where I feel rather helpless. Nothing much can I do. Comparing with my other friends, I tried but still felt rather left out though. Perhaps a new change of environment would make me feel better. That’s what I feel.

Thanks to the 4 people whom have been listening and encouraging me all these times when I needed you. I’m sorry if I had disappointed you guys in anyway. This post is not directed against anyone I have known. Theirs is one more paragraph about my most or maybe place high trust in that person whom I treasured a lot advised which I would post somewhere else. Perhaps my other private blog with few can access.

~Everlasting Till The End~

Posting for ST people to remember me =)

2008-01-08T23:34:00.001+08:00

Haiz... Boy, am I feeling lonely and tired

2008-01-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

As I am feeling damn bored and lonely, I been doing my english homework. Thinking of how to write a one word title. As Emo As possible. I not sure what, who or why I am doing this. Ask me if you want, maybe I do really have an answer. See if I am going to tell you.

Chatted with Mr Chia on msn, he kinda, erm nope treats me very well. I been thinking if I had been isolating myself from powerhouse and school ppl. Now, it seems... so hard to become as outgoing as before. I'll try to be more outgoing. Mr Chia, had taught me many things. I find it so hard to just share with people from powerhouse. I guess its the trust problem.

I so feel like moving on to another church...Maybe when I'll attend my friends church. Perhaps its better down there. Finding a place where I will feel comfortable. I dont want a place which is too noisy or too quiet. I hate people who just crap unnecessarily. Like just bullshitting. talk only when necessary... dont talk nonsense and piss ppl with your grandmother stories.

Next update: Next Sat and Sunday
~finding quietness and peace within me~

Hey Guys, Will be updating weekly.

2008-01-05T20:40:00.001+08:00

Hey, I would be uodating probably on every saturday. Today, woke up ratehr early to do some revision before I had lunch. After which just read some story books which were quite interesting. Need to do more reading. Took a nap before I went to church. Should not had come so early at 15:30pm should had came at 4pm. Very typical of them to start later then usual. Crap, my CG... haiz. Nth to say le. Lucky there's still caleb, david and trevor. If not I'll go bang the wall. I would do that maybe in future though.

I've been rather distracted today. Not sure whats the reason of me being distracted. Is it because of...? Its not the same old me anymore I guess. Anyway, thanks to Auntie Janet to send me home from church. I dont really feel like going CG. I think I might just pop by my friends church more often. It seems rather fun there by what they say. But still its rather far though. I rather my old quiet cg. I dont seem to like noise this year. I dont know why. I just want to be alone. To talk only when necessary otherwise I would just stay silent.

I just hope I would be able to clear all my holiday hw. I still have many things to do yet I somehow procrastinating. Not a very bad one but somehow its preventing me from doing things. I just pray for more discipline. There's still church tomorrow on sunday. Perhaps I would just go on sunday. Tired now. I just want to have quietness around me.

~Silence~

YO! Its a new year for me, for everyone! Time to switch to the mugging mood.

2008-01-01T12:07:00.000+08:00

OKay, guess today would be the last day of fun. Hmm... had fun on the last day of 2007. Stayed over with the powerhouse ppl at bryan's house. Actually reach there earlier cause of my family's cg gathering. Its mike's birthday too, so yeah happy birthday to him. Ate dinner, had worship, a short message by Pastor luke and later was games! Was rather bored.. so I asked Jillain for some songs haha. Now here am I hearing them out. Played basket ball at 2 plus till 3:40am cause we are needed to be sleeping at 4am. I got to agree I had much fun with the powerhouse youths. Talking about anything and everything, listening to their stories haha...Funny. talked about ppl snoring so loudly, making loud and weird noises sleeping, how jaime could just finish a cup of wine or something hahah so fast that she turn red immediately haha.. and got knockout within 2mins.

Got to thank Bryan and Claire for opening up their house for us to stayover and have fun. Yeah... now I guess is to say more about my resolutions.

1. Study more as you know this year I would be taking O level this year.
2. Spend more time doing QT.
3. Better time manage among Friends, Fun, QT and Studies.
4. Will not post here
5. Will not post here

Okay thats it for now, Would not be updating very often starting from tomorrow. So Good luck to me. Will only post when I feel its necessary.

~New Beginning~

A new year, a new me, a new enviroment, a new cg, everything is new now.

2007-12-30T15:38:00.000+08:00

Yeah the above pic are the gifts I received this year haha..The stary thing is not from Clara (stardust) but from marianne. Thankful for it. Lol.. received quite little haha. I'm not complaining.. its beats having nothing. I'll be grateful with all that I have. The nice card with Barry Enchanted and the peg with a cow on it.. was given to me by Clara haha.. not going to call her stardust.. opps.. I just mentioned it. Anyway, powerhouse is fun like always. Wonder.. whats going to happen next year. Woot. My CGL nxt yr is Gabriel... Cool right? a Sec3 boy. Worship and message by Dennis. Later went up for combined service. Dr Steven Tan would be joining the youths I think.. So yeah.. alot of changes I would experience nxt yr. Sat with Jeff, Jaime, Yiqing. lol.. Will sent yiqing christmas wishes nxt yr.. forgotten to send to her? lol. ppl says my phone is cool... well.. its just normal right? Thats besides the point. Tomorrow is mike's birthday. Going to bryan's house tomorrow to celebrate new year and mike birthday, my CG mate. Camp echo is on the 19th Jan 2008 I think. I so not going to miss it. I learned and enjoyed myself so much in camp. So yeah.. will always keep in touch with the friends around me. Lost touch with the sec3s haha.. like no topic now to talk about.

I wonder what challenges am I going to face. I hope not too many. God is always there for me so yeah... its just the problem of recognising him in times of trouble. I would like to thank him for what he has given to me... all the possessions I have, fun and bad times. I better treasured what I have for after losing it, it would be too late to regret. Powerhouse would be shifting to Sat starting at 3 or 3 30pm haha... I wonder when would it end. Many things to handle nxt yr. Studies, QT, Play... time management which I am quite lousy at it. So hopefully, I would know how to balance properly.

To Marianne & Clara: Thanks for the gifts.

~Shining Light Of Hope~

Erm... nothing much to do now...

2007-12-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

Today have been quite boring now..........Been just chatting away with BCYT about nxt yr sitting arrangement.. all the nonsense you could think of... she changed abit la...Bris Childish Young Teenager ahha...

Not going to update much....Going to church tomorrow.

~Bored~